I hate being alive. I don’t see the point. I am suicidal, but I’m not that way because I want to be dead, I just don’t want my life. I’m sure there are many changes that I could make, and I am going to be getting treatments soon, but I just don’t care for the most part. The only things I currently have going are two simultaneous reading projects. Everything else I do for somebody else. I don’t even have a good reason for waking up in the morning. I actually sleep during the day and am awake during the night (I think some of this has to do with my insomnia, but I also really don’t want to be around people, including my family). I’ve been out of school for a few weeks now. I have chronic pain, I likely have a chronic genetic liver condition, I have Asperger’s and attachment disorder–I don’t know what is with me. Before stopping going to school I made some death threats against fellow classmates (i’m 17 and in high school), and mind you, these were empty threats, as well as threats of suicide. I fall insanely in love with people even before I get to know them and usually can’t get them out of my head even after I may fall out of contact with them. (I’m bi). I hate to shower. I’ve just got a lot of sh*t and I don’t get along with my family. I’m so f*cking lonely and needy and horny and sad and depressed and fat. I need….something.
I don’t have any friends.
You sound clinically depressed and need meds. See a doctor! SSRI meds will change your outlook heaps.
Please try to walk every day, or at least every other day, maybe 3 miles (5 kilometers). That will release endorphins and help you to be balanced and happy. It will also melt excess pounds within a month or two.
Meditate every day, asking for light, love, joy and peace to enter you and flow through your body.
And force yourself to shower. It helps wash away the shadows.
LOL, if you were older I’d visit you and help with the horniness, but that won’t work. So…..
I simply wish much love to you, and hugs!
Things will get better and you will become the beautiful young man you are!
Well I think you should start by doing something that you enjoy doing and make sure it’s something you benefit from. Something that makes you feel good.
Try this.
Every day, substitute something you hate doing with something you enjoy. It could be anything, as small as reading a book or maybe even going to the cinema. There’s some good movies out right now.
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you’ve gottttt to stop being so negative. just READING this made me depressed.your situation of being lonely isn’t going to be solved anytime soon if you don’t do something about it.it’s all up to you really. cheer up, it’s a beautiful life.
good luck
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Please don’t kill yourself you can offer so much to this world. Are you getting therapy? You must have therapy I really want you to feel better. It’s really sad to read your story, you have to get help.
You can turn your life around if you try to find things you love, things that make you happy.
I sincerely hope you find your way.
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hey sweetie we all have problems in this world it helps shape us as humans, I see why u are troubled ur life is hard and i dont blame u for feeling this way but dont let it get you down keep ur head up my darling your so young and you have your whole life ahead of you i know it sounds cliche but its oh so very true i myself was in high school not to long ago im only 18 a freshman in college u can only imagine the pressure and stress level i am at this point but i know high isnt any joke and sometimes it isnt the best place or the the place in general of where u wanna be especially being male and bi (I too myself is bi-closeted…not such an easy thing to admit) I think your a strong individual and u just need a friend in your life I would suggest joining clubs or sports thats what helped me cope with all my issues in high school and it ok to feel lonely and horny sometimes! lol Im still a virgen so i know where u are coming from what u should also do is try to gain some kind of relationship with ur family because when it all falls they are going to be there for u (well they should)….i think after you’ve established something with ur family it’ll be easier for u to make friends and u wont feel as lonely or suicidal …..2 of my favorite quotaions are: The only people you need in life are the ones who prove they need you in theirs ….and Loneliness and the feeling of being unwanted is the most terrible poverty. ~ Mother Teresa Nobody deserves to feel lonely especially you
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you sound like how I used to feel! I contemplated on suicide like what’s the point in life and I felt like everything I was doing was for someone else also. Basically I just told myself no matter what I wasn’t going to kill myself. That was my lowest point in life but I came out stronger. I was mean and emotionally selfish trying to get better but eventually I slowly became back to my real self and but now whenever I face a problem I know I can overcome anything. I’m still emotionally selfish when I need to be (like guarding my heart from people who could potentially just throw it away) and I’m extremely picky on who I’ll be interested in. Basically it’s like get the best f*** the rest (not literally). I also exercised to feel better mentally and it does help (running). I just read a ton of books trying to make sense of life but all I got out of it was being smarter.
So good stuff did come out of it even though it was SO shi**y
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See a doctor, we can’t help you.
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You sound clinically depressed and need meds. See a doctor! SSRI meds will change your outlook heaps.
Please try to walk every day, or at least every other day, maybe 3 miles (5 kilometers). That will release endorphins and help you to be balanced and happy. It will also melt excess pounds within a month or two.
Meditate every day, asking for light, love, joy and peace to enter you and flow through your body.
And force yourself to shower. It helps wash away the shadows.
LOL, if you were older I’d visit you and help with the horniness, but that won’t work. So…..
I simply wish much love to you, and hugs!
Things will get better and you will become the beautiful young man you are!
References :
You should go out a bit more… Maybe go out to gay bars so you’ll never know what you’ll have… Maybe new partner? And, try to find a job, and your social life.. Maybe you could invite some of your gay friends to cinema, go out for a meal or something. I am sure you can do something to avoid boredom and loneliness. Hope you are okay =)
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